Why can’t my boyfriend be more like Spider-Man?

Issue 6: "Overcoming the unobservant"

Photo of Spider-Man provided by https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/ay_89069301.jpg.

     He didn't hear you, so neither of you switched out the baby's car seat. He acknowledged your request and said that he would put the seat in the other car, but that piece of evidence is irrelevant because he "doesn't remember" that ever happening. Now you're running late, you're angry, and you're wondering why you chose to marry him as opposed to any other guy that is sure to be more observant than he is.
     But the truth is, most guys would not have remembered to switch out the car seat or put dinner in the oven or do whatever other simplistic task you requested of them; unless, of course, you married someone like Spider-Man.
     Sensing that something isn't right, New York's Peter Parker can fix bad situations in a flash using his Spidey Senses to find the source of the problem. This ability to protect and observe makes women swoon, as every girl loves to have a man that can notice and take care of her.
     "[A woman is] naturally going to feel more attracted to a man who seems like he would keep her safe under any circumstance," said 'relationship expert' Dan Bacon of The Modern Man blog. "This is her natural instinct and it isn't something that women will be changing any time soon."
     These natural instincts can be denied by many as a fact, but it is a fairly accurate generalization.
     During my first semester of college, I liked a guy who had just gotten out of the army and attended Regent University with me. A relationship with him seemed so idealistic as he noticed small things about me and always remembered what I asked of him. On top of that, he was a tough guy who would indefinitely protect me, and I was attracted to that; it was only that way in the most idealistic circumstances, though. As soon as he got jealous or was in a situation where he was less than pleased, than man would all but cry to me and refuse to listen to reason. I would be right, but that didn't matter, because he wanted to be upset.
     Being in touch with one's emotions is one thing, but to be a cry baby is a whole other. After more times than I'd like to recall of him whining to me like a five year old child, I lost interest.
     "When a man refuses to be strong and happens to get a woman into a relationship, she will eventually lose respect and attraction for him," said Bacon. "They will either continue unhappy, or she will cheat on him or dump him."
     When I first started talking to the man, he seemed almost perfect, but I eventually realized that nothing is ever as great as it first seems. Even though he appeared to be a close second to Spider-Man, I had to accept that no one except Peter Parker can possibly meet those standards, and no guy will ever be as much of a catch as Spider-Man. That's why I write this series, after all.
     While women cannot possibly expect their husband or significant other to be like Spider-Man, that is not to say that someone should stay with a crappy guy and excuse their bad behavior. Holding your man to a higher standard will help him to better himself, and while he may never be Spider-Man, he can put effort into being your hero.
     This has been my daily bagel.