Crazy Love chapter 1
As I read Crazy Love by
Francis Chan for my Bible study, I want to record my thoughts each week to
track what this book teaches me, as Francis Chan has a crazy amount of insight
of things I have never thought about. Read the book, watch these videos… you
won’t regret it.
My thoughts after reading Chapter 1:
Worshiping and understanding God is difficult. My view of
God is constantly changing, yet I always see Him as the same person from the
time frames where I viewed Him differently. Confusing, I know.
It is because of this confusion and lack of understanding
that I constantly put effort into studying Him and making my world revolve
around Him. I do all of the little things like listening to K-Love instead of
pop songs about drugs and sex, I keep reading books like Crazy Love that open
my mind to new ideas of God, I go to church, I listen to my Bible App every
day, follow my prayer guide and have prayer time every night, and I’ve stopped
questioning and blaming God for misfortunes. (I know I mess up and skip things
sometimes, but I do my best to do all of these things.)
People don’t make these efforts to get close with God, and
they don’t try to understand Him; but they then question Him. They ask God why
there are so many bad things in the world while they do nothing to stop the bad
things. They feel that questioning the bad things at least shows that they care
a little. Just not enough.
“He has more of a
right to ask us why so many people are starving.” -Francis Chan
Daniel 4:35 says: “All the peoples of the earth are regarded
as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of
the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: “What have you done?”
People use bad things in the world to justify why they think
that God is bad or negligent or uncaring, because He doesn’t care enough to fix
the bad things. On the contrary, He put us here to fix those bad things. He
gave you that thought about the starving people in hopes you would DO SOMETHING
ABOUT IT. So stop questioning God and go do something.
I like this quote from Francis Chan about people who feel
entitled to receiving an explanation from God:
“Could it be your
arrogance that makes you think God owes you an explanation?” -Francis Chan
So many people I know claim they don’t believe in God; but
they’ll still blame Him for bad things in the world (How can someone who
doesn’t exist cause bad things to happen?), pray for things that they want, and
discuss God as a person they believe exists.
The only reason they claim not to believe is because they
don’t want commit to anything, have rules, or be held accountable for things
they do.
I struggle with this as well.
It’s tempting to say “Oh well I don’t think looking at
another woman counts as a sin. I usually love my wife and I do good otherwise,
so it doesn’t matter.” Sorry bud, but lusting after another woman is adultery.
(That’s a sin, FYI).
I know a lot of people who say “I just don’t think sex
counts as a sin.” You can’t read the Bible where it physically says that sex is
a sin and try to say that God is wrong, and you are right. Re-read that
sentence and try to claim that it makes sense. You aren’t right. Nothing that
contradicts the Bible is right or good. If you choose to do it, that’s a
choice, but don’t try to justify it.
We don’t decide what is and is not a sin.
“It isn’t up to us,
mostly because none of us are good.” -Francis Chan
We are going to want to bend the rules. None of us are good.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t try to be good. Put in the effort.
I fully believe that I am never going to get anything
completely right, but it is about the intent of your heart. If you intentionally
disobey God, knowing in your heart that it is a sin but you pretend it’s not,
God sees the intent of your heart. He sees that you know you are doing wrong
and just don’t care, because God isn’t important enough for you to give up what
you want to do.
This isn’t me attacking anyone, because I have done this
more than anyone else. I’ve been there. I had screwed up so many times that I
was in the mindset of “Oh, well I already did it once so might as well do it
again.”
It took me hitting rock bottom for me to realize that I was
using my past sin as an excuse to keep sinning, and I was digging myself in a
dark, lonely hole that left me feeling more and more empty.
The second I
started reaching out to God, I started to feel better.
I felt vulnerable at first. I felt stupid. I felt like I was
talking to myself. Nothing changed at first. I kept going, though. I
incorporated God into my daily routine and revolved my days around Him. And
eventually, I started to feel better.
My problem was that I was expecting some drastic,
life-changing event or gesture from God. I felt as though it was okay for me to
continue on in my sin until that huge moment came. But that moment never came.
God was waiting on me to stop waiting on Him. I had to put in the effort, rekindle
my faith, and trust Him.
Day by day, things got better. Don’t get me wrong, things
still absolutely suck sometimes. But I don’t get depressed like I used to,
feeling like I have no way out of that dark pit I dug myself into. I feel okay
because I know things are going to be okay.
I used to think of God as that guy in the sky that mom and
dad have told me about since I was little. Yeah, he’s up there watching us.
Cool. Please help me out, and I’ll try to be good. Love You, Amen. But he’s so
much more than that and needs to be appreciated for how awesome He really is.
I’m still working on that, and Crazy Love has helped me so much in that.
It’s absolutely insane how huge the galaxy is and how
intricate every little detail of every insignificant thing is. In conclusion, I
am grateful for my renewed faith and relationship with God, and I am completely
astonished at, in the words of Francis Chan, “the God who made galaxies and
caterpillars.”
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